Bear One Another's Burdens

Have you ever felt a weight so heavy you knew you couldn’t carry it on your own? You desperately wanted someone to pick up a little of the load crushing you, but no one was around when your eyes franticly searched the room. Maybe it was a diagnosis, an addiction, a thought so crippling it wouldn’t stop running through your head. If you’ve felt like that, you aren’t alone. I’ve been there too… but I didn’t stay there.

If the Bible tells us to bear one another burdens, then that means we weren’t meant to live alone. We need people. I don’t just mean strangers coming to your aid in Walmart when your child has opened the apple juice gallon because she was parched, and you yell, “clean up on aisle eleven!” Though that’s helpful. I mean people to help you carry your sins, weaknesses, and daily struggles you can’t drag through another day. I’m talking about people who don’t have to run to you because they are already there.

To have people in your life you can trust, confess sin (James 5:16), share worries and your hopes. You first have to people. This means building relationships.

We all know that building relationships can feel awkward at times. Making friends is hard. Keeping friends is hard. Being a good friend is hard.

I scrubbed my white carpet five minutes before friends came over this week because my two-year-old wanted to put purple eyeshadow on but missed her face completely. I’ve caught myself sharing about a plantar wart I had to go to the podiatrist three times to have removed to a new friend. Then I thought, “too soon for a weird story, Charlie…” I’ve also told the same story to a friend five-plus times because it was bothering me so much. And you know what, she listened each time like she didn’t just hear the drawn-out details the week before. Thank God for her. We must push through the awkwardness to get deep, raw, genuine friendships.

Friendship takes showing up. I’ve left family dinner to go to the hospital when a friend was admitted, blocked out my morning to go to a friend's house to pray for healing, and had a friend stay the night with me because I needed to take Nyquil and couldn’t wake up with my baby when my husband was out of town. These stories wouldn’t have happened if we didn’t grab a coffee first and sit down to introduce ourselves.

Yesterday I told a friend, “Please don’t apologize for sharing your thoughts with me….” Friendships where we only talk about the weather aren’t going to ‘bear one another’s burdens.” I want to know how you’re doing, what God is teaching you, what you’re reading in the Bible….” I want to be honest, and I know you do too.

So yes, the conversation may be awkward at times; the thought of “why did I just say that” may cross your mind. But if you want a relationship that will hold you accountable for your sin, pray for you and show up for you… you must start at the beginning.

You don’t want fast-food friendships.